Scrubbing the Tarnish to Reveal the Shine
Exactly one year ago today, I was given the spiritually driven direction to leave my position as a high school principal. I can literally still feel my heart pump as I recorded the words flowing from my hand onto my journal. The fear. The excitement. The questions.
Fast forward to today.
I just completed an interview for the In AWE Podcast that still has me reeling with its clear message to me in regard to the mission in what I am doing now. My guest was speaking about her own mission, but in that message shined through my own purpose, and I am so grateful to notice.
Though my professional path is still forming, what is clear to me today is that my passion and strengths are coming together in a way that will honor my life purpose for the rest of it.
However, I still have a lot of listening and hard work to do.
For example, on my run this morning, I allowed my path to be driven by the call from The Spirit, and I found myself heading down a road that I have avoided for quite a while. Without realizing, I had been evading memories that lay hidden along the dirt road. In that space today, God taught me lessons. Personal instructions. Hard ones. I am not done learning, nor will I ever be.
While we should most definitely not beat ourselves up for our mistakes, it is imperative that we face the realities of our past, rumble with the stories we have created (as Brene Brown says), and be certain that whatever remains to uncover for lessons is something we intentionally seek and not avoid.
"Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:4
Very real physical fears have kept me from these roads, such as a bear encounter the last time I was there, rumors of a wolf, and the remoteness of it given my previous posts about human threats. But there are also haunts from previous runs that lay there from my own memories. The path is also uphill. All the way. With my injury, I figured I shouldn't take that route.
On the ice today, I learned that with the strength placed within me to slay these giants, I was able to run both down one ice slope and UUUUPPP the hills. The entire way. And do it well.
But I couldn't do it on my own will or strength.
Last year was all about rising. In vulnerable fashion, here are some very real words in my journal:
"You must remove yourself from the place that has tarnished and tainted the chapters of your beautiful life and fly to the heights where I want you to soar."
Here is a truth: these words are real. They mean more to me today than they could ever have a year ago because I did not fully process their meaning in the broad scope of my life until recent months. The chapter of my life from 2014-2017 is one that tarnished and tainted. This is both from my own actions as well as the circumstances in which I found myself. Some were fully within my control and others radically out of it. As much as I wanted to paint over that chapter while I was in it by working hard in life and work, the tarnish remained. I will continue to work through those lessons, but I remain awe inspired and grateful that I could receive such a radical and redeeming message one year ago today that would force me out of that ceaseless battle.
And that through all the work I have done to intentionally polish this vessel both in and out, the only thing that will remain in the long scheme of this beautiful life is the SHINE!
Is there a lesson that you might be avoiding? A road you don't want to go down for the pain that might lurk there? If nothing else, know today you are not alone and that you too can take out that polish cloth and scrub away some of that tarnish. Day by day. Until you reach your own year milestone and grab a glorious glimpse of the shine that illuminates out from all that work.